The Damsels In Distress
by Kurenai Sakeme
Summary: Co-written by Hisan Kage. Hiei accidently kills a ningen and ends up in Reikai Prison! The guys try to free him and end up in prison as well! And now, only one group of people can save them! THE GIRLS! R&R pleez. NOW WITH NEW BONUS CHAPTER! {Complete}
1. Oops

Disclaimer: We don't own YYH. Chibi is writing this chapter, and some of the ideas came from Shishou.

PLEASE NOTE: This is a story that TWO authors wrote together. Please excuse differences in writing styles, since two people are never the same.

Chapter ONE

The Chaos Begins!!!!

"HEY FREAK!!! WHY ARE YOU IN A TREEEEEE????!!!! ARE YOU AN ESCAPEE FROM A PRISON OR SOMETHIN'?" yelled the annoying idiot below Hiei's tree. 

"…" Replied Hiei.

"HEY YOU! I'M TALKING TO YOU!!! ARE YOU MUTE OR SOMETHING???!!!"

This idiot was really beginning to tick Hiei off. He was having a bad day and the ningen was asking for it.

"HEY MUTE GUY!!! EAT THISSSSS!!!" the ningen threw a rock at Hiei, who caught it and threw it back. Hard. Maybe a bit _too_ hard considering the ningen instantly fell to the ground. Blood oozed from a nasty crater in his head where the rock had hit him. Oops. 

****

*poof* "HIEI!!!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE????!!!" Koenma had appeared at the foot of the tree. He was looking down on the ningen in disgust. "YOU KILLED A HUMAN!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, DON'T YOU?!"

"Hn." Replied Hiei.

"EXACTLY!!! WELCOME TO THE REKAI EXPRESS, NEXT STOP REKAI PRISON!!!!" *poof* Hiei and Koenma disappeared and left the dead ningen on the ground by the tree. 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

"Well, Hiei was sent to Rekai prison yesterday. He 'supposedly' killed a ningen. He says it was an accident. His hearing is in two weeks." Explained Botan. She, Yusuke, Keiko, Yoko, Genkai, and Yukina were sitting around a table in Genkai's temple. "I believe him. The human died from a direct hit in the head with a pebble. I collected his soul personally." She sipped her tea.

"Well, maybe we should bust him out." Suggested Yoko. "I don't trust Koenma. He'll be the judge at his hearing, right? By the time he lets Hiei out of prison, I'll be six hundred."

"Well, Hiei _is _facing three hundred years in a maximum security facility." Replied Botan thoughtfully. "And Koenma never really listens to other people's sides of the story."

"Don't we all know." Said Yusuke smartly. "I don't trust him either. Although if we try to bust him out and fail, we'll be tried alongside him."

"Yeah." Agreed Yoko.

"Well, we can help." Said Keiko. "I'll be a decoy or something, Botan probably knows where his cell is, and Yukina can cause a distraction or maybe…"

Yusuke and Yoko looked at each other and laughed hysterically.

"_You_ 'helping' _us_? You can't be serious." They said through peals of laughter. 

"Honestly Keiko, that was a good one!" laughedYusuke. "I needed that!"

"I'm serious!" exclaimed Keiko.

They looked at each other (again) and laughed (again).

"Hey guys, Keiko has a point!" yelled Botan angrily. "We can help!!" 

More laughter.

"Um, I suppose I would help too…" said Yukina softly.

A fresh roar of laughter.

"Slacker, Fox! What is wrong with you? God, I thought I'd given the Spirit Wave Orb to someone worthy of it's prowess. I may have to take it back from you, you sexist*!"

"Hey, come on Genkai, even _you _have to think this is funny!"

"Um, sorry Slacker I cease to see the reason women _can't_ help men!"

"We're stronger." Said Yoko.

"And faster." Added Yusuke "And anyway, I wouldn't let Keiko go anyway. Too dangerous. Plus, you-know-who would probably kill us for letting Yukina."

"Yusuke, I'm not your puppet! I can do what I want!!!" screamed Keiko. "If I want to go, I will!"

"And I've nothing to lose." Added Yukina.

"And I _do_ know where the cells are and I _do _know where the secret condemned yet still usable exit of Rekai is." Added Botan.

"And I am an old woman who won't live to see three hundred more years if I'm caught. Plus I can kick up the old 'Crazy Old Woman' act to create a diversion." Added Genkai.

"Okay, okay." Said Yoko. "To get you to shut up, if we fail and get caught, you guys are free to try and save us."

"Yeah, this joke just _has_ to stop. We won't fail anyway." Said Yusuke.

"FINE!" yelled all the girls at once.

"It's settled then, we save you if you don't save him!" said Genkai.

"And if all of us fail, we can all be screwed together!" shouted Yoko. 

"Very comforting." Said Keiko. They all shook on their new promise.

The two boys didn't realize how false their confidence was. A lot of good it would do them later when they were stuck in prison, playing the harmonica and singing jailbird songs.

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Well, did you like? Please read and Review!!!!!!!!!

* "sexist" is a word that means someone who favors one gender over another.


	2. When Plan A Fails

A/N: This chapter is by KageYoukai! In case you want to know Chibi Yoko is writing the odd-numbered chapies and I'm writing the even ones!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own YYH and I do not own the odd-numbered chapters!

*****************CHAPTER TWO: When plan A fails...****************************************

It was the next day, and all the girls were off scheming there decoy plots, while the guys had something different in mind...

"Okay," said Yusuke. "We've all agreed that we can't let the girls help, right?"

Yoko and Kuwabara nodded.

"So let's meet in Reikai at 3 in the morning tomorrow. Got it?" Yusuke asked.

"Why so early?" whined Kuwabara.

"So the girls don't know we're gone baka." snapped Yoko. Kuwabara whimpered.

"Okay, so it's agreed?" asked Yusuke.

"Agreed." said the other two in unison.

NEXT MORNING.........

It was 3 in the morning. Yoko and Yusuke were standing in the dark corridors of Reikai, waiting for Kuwabara.

"What's taking him so long?" Asked Yoko impatiently. They waited 10 more minutes and Kuwabara finally showed up.

"It's about time." said Yusuke. "Now here's the plan; there are three corridors that lead to the prison. The first one is shortest. Yoko takes that one and gets there first. I'll take the second longest one, so if a rare event occurs and Yoko doesn't make it, I'll get there next. Kuwabara takes the longest one, and gets there last so he doesn't get in our way. Got it?"

"Uhhhhhh...........No?" said Kuwabara.

"Just go down that hall Baka!" yelled Yusuke. "I love my great plan."

__

"Your plan?" asked Yoko.

"Fine." sighed Yusuke. "Yoko's plan. Now let's go!" They each tore off down different corridors.

THE ATTEMPT........

Yoko reached the end of the hall and entered the prison...place.

"Hi Hiei!" he whispered.

"What do you want?!" snapped Hiei.

"Hey! I'm saving you here! No need to get mad!" Yoko snapped back.

"Good luck." muttered Hiei sarcastically. Yoko began to pick the lock when an alarm went off.

__

BWEEP! BWEEP! BWEEP! BWEEP!

As the alarm went off, hundreds of huge ogres ran out to stop the intruder.

"Who's there?!" yelled one of them, shining a flashlight in Yoko's face.

"Great Kami-sama!" shouted one of them. "It's the legendary bandit Yoko Kurama!"

"That's my name." said Yoko. "Now how would you like to die?"

Silence...

"Evil man eating plants?" asked Yoko. "Sounds good to me!" Yoko pulled a seed out of his hair and tossed it onto the ground, near the ogres' feet. It sprouted into a giant flower with giant fangs and started devouring them all. All the ogres that got away from the plant, got slashed up by Yoko's rose-whip. He was laughing evilly the entire time. Blood-spray was everywhere.

"MUA HA HA HA HA!"

Hiei watched them, amused, but at the same time knew that Koenma would come any second now. He counted them down in his head. _'3...2...1...'_

"You'd better leave baka-kitsune or else-" he started. And then POOF! Koenma appeared.

"YOKO!" he shrieked. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

"MUA HA HA!"

"YOKO!"

"MUA HA HA!"

**__**

"YOKO!"

"MUA HA HA- yes?" 

"What the hell are you doing?" asked a horrified Koenma.

"Nothin'." replied Yoko. Hiei laughed hysterically.

"A whole lot of nothing!" retorted Koenma. "Why are you here?"

"Um...Going for a walk?" said Yoko.

Hiei laughed so hard he fell off his little cell-bed.

Suddenly Yusuke ran in.

"WE'RE GONNA SET YOU FREeeee- I mean...Hi Koenma." he said. 

Hiei was paralyzed with hysterical laughter.

Koenma glared at them. "Attempting to free a convict, gets you the same sentance as him." he said cooly. "Have fun." POOF! Yusuke and Yoko were in identical cells next to Hiei's, who was still laughing at them.

"Gee thanks Hiei." said Yusuke.

"What'd I do?" he asked.

"You could've helped us you know!" yelled Yusuke.

"To busy laughing at your stupidity." Hiei replied, smirking.

"You seem smug...Considering you're in PRISON!" yelled Yusuke.

"As if I didn't expect to end up here sometime in my life." replied Hiei.

"This is stupid. I can break outta here in seconds!" said Yoko, glancing over at the locks.

"You're forgetting something baka...The alarm." said Hiei.

"I know that baka!" snapped Yoko.

"Ahou!" retorted Hiei.

"Oban!"

"Oban?" asked Hiei.

"Guys..." muttered Yusuke.

"That's what I said." replied Yoko.

"You are DEAD!" yelled Hiei, attempting to set Yoko's tail on fire.

"GUYS!" yelled Yusuke, before Hiei had any such chance. They turned to Yusuke, who was in-between them. "SHUT UP! It's bad enough that we're in prison! Imagine what Keiko will do to me! My face'll be one huge welt during visiting hours!"

"Don't forget that we're in prison for like, 300 years." muttered Hiei. "Who cares what your ugly ningen girlfriend does to you."

"SHE'S NOT UGLY!" Yusuke picked up a rock that was conveniently on the ground by his feet, and chucked it at Hiei. Hiei caught it and threw it back, a lot harder. It hit Yusuke square between the eyes, causing him to pass out. Oh boy. This is gonna be a looooooong night... 

MEANWHILE...........

Kuwabaka wandered through the dark corridors, apparently lost. He was getting tired too. In the middle of walking, he instantly fell asleep standing up, than fell flat on his face, which immediately woke him up.

"Huh? What? Where am I?" he asked the wall. It didn't respond. "Well fine! Be that way!" he spat at the wall. He walked on, then fell asleep again.

LATER THAT MORNING.........

Keiko knocked on Yusuke's door, to discuss the plan.

"YUSUKE!" she yelled. _'I wonder where he is... He wouldn't have....No that can't be it.'_

"KEIKO!" called Shizuru, from behind her.

"Shizuru?" asked Keiko. "What are you doing here?"

"My little brother disappeared. I don't suppose you know what him, and his little friends are up to?" she asked.

"On know they DIDN'T!" she said. Her face turned red and her eyes turned all evil-ish. "**YUSUKE I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**"

****************************************************************************************

I know it was kinda OOC, but that makes it funnier...right? Right?! RIGHT!?!? Anyhow...Yusuke, Yoko, and Hiei are in prison. Kuwabaka is lost in Reikai. Keiko is angry. Koenma is angry. The other girls will soon be angry. Shizuru might join the party. Will the girls save them? REVIEW AND WE'LL UPDATE!

****

Baka- Idiot stupid, fool, you get it.

Ahou- same as baka. Idiot, stupid, or fool...ext.

Oban- bitchy old hag. (I don't know why I had Yoko use that term)


	3. Joe and Saito

Disclaimer: I DO NOT and NEVER WILL own YYH.

A/N: Shishou wrote the last chapter. Now you're all stuck with _me_, the elusive Chibi Yoko.

Chapter THREE!

"MY GOD, THAT JERK!" yelled Keiko. "I'll KILL him!!!" 

"Um, Keiko...what's going on? My brother wasn't home this morning, but I found this note. I can't read it though, it's written in crayon and it's all messy." Shizuru cautiously offered a wrinkled piece of paper to Keiko, who snatched it from her hand.

"Let's see," she said in an angry tone, "'Deeer Shizuro, I went with Yuuuske to thee...er...playce.' The rest just looks like scribbles and then there's 'Lov, Kuwa-Kaz-KK.' He can't even write his own name?"

Shizuru shook her head no.

"God!"

"What's going on?" asked Shizuru. "Where is he? Did he tag along on another Rekai mission?"

"No. Hiei was arrested and he went with Yoko and Yusuke to try and break him out of Rekai prison."

"Oh, well what if they're caught?"

"Three hundred years with no chance of parole."

"Oh. What're we gonna do?"

"_We_ have to go save them. They made a bet with us, they said if they failed to save Hiei, we were allowed to come and try and save them all."

"Who's us?"

"Come on, don't you want the baka back?"

Shizuru sighed. "Yes. Let's go...wherever the rest of them are."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND NOW ENTERTAINMENT FROM THE JAILBIRDS!

Yusuke and Yoko sat on their little prison-cot-thingys. Hiei sat on a his biting his lip in irritation at the annoying song that Yoko and Yusuke were _attempting_ to make up. Yoko played the harmonica, and Yusuke sang.

"_*horribly off key*_ I wanna go HOME!" 'Sang' Yusuke.

"Na NA na na." said the Harmonica.

"And prison is stupid!"

"Na NA na na."

"And I'm in here all because,"

"na NA na na."

"Of a stupid fire demon!"

"Na NA na na." 

"And he needs anger management,"

"Na NA na na."

"Because all that stupid ningen did was,"

"Na NA na na." 

"call him a bad name."

"FREAKS!" said the Harmonica. Yoko dropped it.

"Did your harmonica just talk?" asked Yusuke.

"Of course I did, what're you deaf?" asked The Harmonica. "My name is Joe the Magic Talking Harmonica."

"Uh, Yoko, where did you get this?"

"I stole it off some demon I murdered as a hit. I didn't know what it was, I've never used it before."

"GOD you people can't sing or play harmonica, can you??"

"Yoko, what _is_ that thing?" asked Hiei.

"Hello Boys!" called a voice from down the hall. 

"Something that can help you escape!" answered Joe.

Yoko stuffed the Joe the Magic Talking Harmonica under his pillow as Koenma's shadow cast itself over the hallway, seconds before he came into view. 

"Hi." said Yusuke gruffly.

"Well, I have some good news for you."

"Will you grace us with your astounding knowledge?" asked Hiei. "Or do we have to guess?"

"I'll grace you with my astounding knowledge, considering the fact your brain is too small to comprehend what the news is."

"I'm not Kuwabaka."

"Whatever. The news is that, and I quote from the latest Rekai Ordinance for the Good of All Three Worlds Under the Rule of the Almighty and Powerful Koenma Including the Punishment and Discipline Departments of the-"

"We get it Koenma!" shouted Yusuke. "No need for the entire list of the things you rule. We've heard the three-hour list before."

Koenma sniffed indignantly. "Fine. The new Ordinance says that and I quote." he held up a scroll and read, "'Any prisoner in the Rekai Prison Complex that can manage a breakout OR an assisted escape may be free of all charges against them, and will be free to linger between all three worlds, regardless of breed or race.'"

"YES! We still have a chance. A slight one, but A CHANCE!" shouted Yusuke. 

"IF they can make it into the front door!" laughed Yoko. Koenma looked at them curiously. 

"There _are_ a few clauses you should know about." said Koenma. His eyes glinted evilly. "Oh, well there's the 'Must Have Helped Rekai At One Point In Time' , but all of you have. The only one you should hear about is the 'Must Make the Breakout Or Escape BEFORE Their Appeal Date.' and yours is in two days!"

"You sick, twisted little person."said Yoko solemnly. 

"Our appeal was supposed to be in two weeks!" protested Yusuke.

"I changed it!" cackled Koenma. "MUWAHA!!!-oh, um sorry."Koenma left them to wallow in their own misery with Joe the Magic Talking Harmonica.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_MEANWHILE THE GIRLS..._

"Okay. Plan A is, we dress up as Hiei, Yusuke, Yoko and Kuwabara and set up a distraction to make ourselves look like we're the guys escaping. Meanwhile, the guys escape while all of the ogres are occupied with us. Any questions?" asked Keiko.

"Um, what's Plan B?" asked Yukina.

"We get caught and spend three hundred years in prison. Anything else?"

Everyone else: ...

"Good. Now all we have to do is get our convict outfits and visit the guys to tell them what's up. Get your costumes and meet back here in two hours!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_TWO HOURS LATER....._

"Um, why do we have two Hieis?" asked Keiko.

"You never actually assigned us a person." said Shizuru.

"Oh, well, who's going to be Hiei? You or Yukina?"

"Um...I don't have to....." started Yukina.

"No, let's see...ask Genkai which of you looks the most like Hiei."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well, considering Yukina is only an inch shorter than Hiei, and the fact she actually had red eyes, Yukina should be Hiei."

"Hey lady, do you know how many bottles of gel are in my hair right now?? This took forever!! Now my hair is black for nothing!!!" yelled Shizuru.

"You're too tall Shizuru. You dwarf Hiei. Why don't you be your brother?" suggested Genkai.

"No way! I'll never dress as a baka ho can't even dress himself the right way!!"

"Why not. You get to act like an idiot and no one will ever know unless they know who you are."

"I just won't be anyone. My brother can just sneak out with the others without a decoy."

"Whatever."

"........." said Yukina.

"Okay, Botan good job on being Yoko. I like your hair silver." complimented Keiko. "And the yellow contacts are a nice touch, too."

"Yeah, a two-thousand dollar touch. Nice short, black hair Keiko. Nice and shiny too."

"Let's just hope Yoko doesn't go after it!!!" laughed Keiko.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

_LATER......._

So, you were lying when you said you could break us out of Rekai Prison?" asked Yusuke.

"Yep." Replied Joe the Magic Talking Harmonica.

"And you're a fraud?"

"Yup."

"I'm gonna blast it back to last Tuesday. I hate liars." said Yoko.

"You _are_ a liar. You used to befriend people and kill them for money." said Yusuke. "Besides, this thing is kinda cool. We could probably get some money for it in Makai."

"You're right."

"Hey, you have visitors!" crackled a voice over the loudspeaker in the corner of their cell."They're coming for you now. Don't try anything funny though."

"Whatever." replied Yoko. "If we did, we'd just kill all of you ogres until we were free."

"Listen man, I don't want any trouble!" said the loudspeaker. "I'm just trying to put food on the table Mister Legendary Bandit Sir."

"When we break out of here, be warned you're first, no, second, no, seventy-eighth on my list!!"

"Um...Okay Sir!!!" *click*

Yoko's ears pricked forward at the faint sound of footsteps coming down the hallway. 

"Hello boys." called a voice. The five girls came into view.

"Oh my Inari*. What in the name of everything good and right in _all three_ worlds is happening???" asked Yoko.

"What, don't like out new hair?" asked Keiko.

"Yukina, hey, she looks like Hiei!"exclaimed Yusuke. Hiei jumped and ran to his cell door to get a closer look. Yukina had her long hair dyed black and it was styled exactly like Hiei's, anti-gravitational and shiny.

"What happened?" asked Hiei. "Hey Yoko, Botan looks like you!" 

"What?? You gotta be kid- OH MY INARI!"

Botan flipped her now straight 'n' silver hair at Yoko and made the light catch her golden eyes.

"AND WHY IN KOENMA'S NAME IS YOUR HAIR LIKE MINE KEIKO???" asked Yusuke.

"Oh, and I meant to ask, how many bottles of gel do you put _into_ this thing? When I got my hair cut and styled, it took eight bottles, and Yukina's hair took almost sixteen! How do you do that Hiei, living from a tree?"asked Keiko.

"My hair is natural." said Hiei.

"Riiiight." 

"I tell you no lies."

"Oh, don't worry, _I _trust you."

"God Woman!"

"Would you trust the person who made you a mind slave?" asked Yusuke pointedly.

"No..." 

"Exactly. Now what is going on?"

"We've gotta plan to throw that _party_ we were planning. *wink wink*."

"Wha-oh-ooooh." said Yoko. "You're actually gonna do it?"

"Yup."

"Hey, where's Kuwabara?" asked Shizuru.

"Um, we don't really know." said Yusuke. "He got, er...um..._separated_ from us."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN SOME RANDOM REKAI HALLWAY.........

"Where am I?" asked Kuwabara to himself.

"I don't know. Maybe we died." replied himself.

"Do you think we did."

"Maybe."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well anyway, here's the plan." said Keiko. She, Yukina, and Genkai gave a piece of paper to each of the boys. "Enjoy your stay." The girls turned and left the boys alone.

Almost as soon as they were gone, a scream was heard down the hall. 

"I DIDN'T DO IT!!! I WAS FRAMED I TELL YOU!!! FRAMED!!!" screamed the anonymous prisoner.

"Aw Shut up." said Koenma's voice. "Here, you're in the celebrity cellblock cuz' there isn't any room anywhere else." The boys hid their papers as they heard footsteps coming down the hall. Koenma came into sight in teenage form holding a kicking girl who was screaming a steady stream of curses aimed at Koenma. She was dressed in black baggy pants and a red shirt. An empty sheath hung from her belt. She had long black hair that fell down her shoulders. Two red fox ears like Yoko's pricked up from her hair and she had a red tail. Koenma pushed her into an empty cell next to Yoko's and left them. 

After about a half hour the girl stopped screaming and fell silent.

"Who are you, anyway?"asked Yusuke.

"Why do you wanna know??" she asked. 

"Hey, would you tell me if I told you that Yoko Kurama is in the cell next to you and is talking to you right now?" asked Yoko.

"YOKO KURAMA????? YOU'RE MY IDOL!!!!"

"You and every kitsune* ever born after me."

"Okay, if you're Yoko. My name is Saito. I'm fifteen, I've studied swordsmanship since I was five, Oh, and I've been a mercenary* for two years!! I killed a human on accident. I've helped Rekai before though, so if I can get outta here I'm free."

"Yeah, same here." said Hiei.

"Maybe we can get you out when we escape."

"Would you???"

"Why not. Everyone says I always have to play the hero, so why not now?" said Yusuke.

"YES!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, who is the strange person that got landed next to Yoko? Well, You could look at my author page for her bio, but still read the next chapter by the much-better author Shishou!!


	4. The Great Escape

KAGEYOUKAI'S CHAPTER!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own...YYH, chapters 1 and 3, Saito, or Joe. I own chapters 2 and 4 and some parts of 1. Had enough numbers yet? Good. Read. Review. NOW!

*************************************************************************************************

"Okay Yukina," said Botan. "You go first, try to distract Koenma. We'll back you up."

"Kay." Yukina ran out into the unprotected open "LOOKIT ME! I'M HIEI!"

(Teenage)Koenma came running out. "Yukina what the hell are you doing in Hiei's clothes?!"

"I...uh...Am Hiei."

"Uh huh...Since when did Hiei have a sweet little girl's voice.?" asked Koenma.

"^ ^ Umm.....My voice cracked?"

"It sounds like just the opposite." said Koenma. "I hate do this Yukina but you'll have to go to prison."

"FREEZE!" yelled Yukina. Koenma froze and Yukina ran past Koenma, followed by Botan. Koenma un-froze when Yukina left. When Shizuru got there, Koenma tried to block her path, she kicked him in the crotch and ran past him.

"OWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled.

Keiko wasn't sure what to do. She was to new at this. She decided to distract him.

"Um.... I'm Yusuke," she said, disguising her voice. 

"Oh yeah? How long has Yusuke been a girl?"

"How did you know?!" asked Keiko.

"Well...For one thing-"

"Never mind! I don't think I want to know." said Keiko. Koenma couldn't help but grin, despite the pain he was in.

"You're distracting me aren't you?"

"^_^ Nope."

"Really?"

"Ooh what's that?" asked Keiko. Koenma looked, just long enough for Keiko to run away. When he looked back, she wasn't there.

MEANWHILE....

Yusuke made a new prison song. It went like this:

"Sittin' in prison,"

"Na na na na."

"Alone in a cell,"

"Na na na na."

"Sittin' in prison,"

"Na na na na."

"It's a living hell!"

"Na na na na."

"Hiei needs to stop throwing rocks at people."

"Na...What?" asked Joe the Talking Harmonica.

"A ningen threw a rock at Hiei, Hiei threw it back, it killed the guy. Later, I threw a rock at Hiei, he threw threw it back, it knocked me out." explained Yusuke.

"It sounds to me like people should stop throwing rocks at ME." said Hiei. 

"Yeah right." said Joe. "You need anger management Hiei."

"Give me that harmonica." said Hiei. Yusuke tossed it to him, and Hiei promptly threw Joe into a wall, shattering him into a million pieces.

"JOE!" screamed Yusuke. He turned to Hiei and glared. "You _do _need anger management."

"You want to shatter against a wall too?" asked Hiei. Yusuke shut up. "Didn't think so."

"Could you two be quieter?" asked Saito. "I'm trying to think."

"You can think?" asked Hiei. "Ya' learn something new every day..."

"SHUT UP!" she screamed.

"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP!?!?" screamed Yoko, who had been sleeping a minute ago.

"No." said Hiei.

"Shut up Hiei you have problems." snapped Yoko.

"_I _have problems?" asked Hiei. "You have a garden that growls at people. What problems do I have?"

"Anger problems."

Hiei threw another rock at Yoko, who dodged it, and it immediately hit Saito upside the head. (Where do all these rocks come from? Oh well...)

@_@"Weeeeeeee....." said Saito as she fell over swirly eyed. 

"Nice job Hiei." said Yusuke. Hiei smirked.

Suddenly Yukina and Botan ran passed them screaming. Than Shizuru. Than Keiko. And last and least, Koenma ran after them shaking his fist and shouting curses at the top of his lungs.

"And you think _I _have anger problems?" asked Hiei. Koenma stopped to curse at Hiei, then ran after the girls.

"Oh joy." said Yusuke. "The girls are gonna end up in prison too."

"This sucks." said Hiei. "I'm getting out of here."

"How?" asked Yusuke.

"Like this." Hiei. He took a long breath and screamed. "HEY YOU DAMN TODDLER! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME WITH GIRLS!? CAN'T YOUR STUPID EGO HANDLE THE HUMILIATION OF BEING DEFEATED BY ME?!?!"

Yusuke just stared at him. Suddenly Koenma ran back to Hiei's cell, opened it up, and started trying to strangle him. Hiei jumped over Koenma and ran out of the cell laughing.

"HEY! WHAT ABOUT US!?" Yusuke yelled after him. 

MEANWHILE...................

Botan had taken the lead of the group when suddenly she felt a huge gust of wind and saw a black blur. She recognized it.

"HIEI?" she called. He appeared right next to her, running at a much slower speed.

"What?!" he yelled.

"Did you get the others out?"

"No."

"NO!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'NO'?!"

"I didn't get them out."

"Well I figured that!"

"So you _do _have a mind."

"HIEI SHUT UP! WE NEED TO GET THE OTHERS OUT!" screamed Botan.

"FINE! THEN GO GET THEM! I'LL HANDLE KOENMA!" Hiei yelled back, kind of annoyed.

"WHY ARE WE SCREAMING!?" asked Botan. Hiei just rolled his eyes and disappeared. Botan and the other girls turned around and ran back towards the prison. When she got there, Hiei was standing on a toddler Koenma, who was hog-tied and unconscious on the floor. The girls let them out and they all ran home.

TWO DAYS LATER...............

Saito had gone back to where ever the hell she came from, and the others were recalling the incident.

"That was so much fun!" said Botan cheerfully.

"Yeah, minus the prison part." said Yusuke.

"Hey you guys," said Shizuru. "Why wasn't my brother in prison too?"

"He never showed up." said Yusuke. Yoko, who had earlier turned back to Kurama, nodded.

"Yup." he said. "I wonder what ever happened to him..."

AT REIKAI......

Kuwabaka was tired, hungry, and tired. But mostly hungry. He walked down a corridor and found himself at the prison place.

"I MADE IT!" he looked around and saw no one. "Huh?"

"Kuwabara!" yelled Koenma, from behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"I was suppose to break someone out but I got lost."

10 minutes later......

"I DON'T DESERVE TO BE IN PRISON! LET ME OUT! LET ME OOOOOUUUUUUUUT!" screamed Kuwabaka, from inside a cell.

BACK TO EVERYONE ELSE.........

"Who knows." said Yukina. "He probably got back to Ningenkai by now."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"A toast!" called Yusuke. "To being free!"

"CHEERS!" yelled everyone, clinking there drinks together.

*************************THE END************************************************************

That's the end people! It was a really short fic, I know, but OH WELL! I hope that was funny. The reason I had Hiei save himself, was 'cuz he wasn't being sexist like the other guys. Review pleez and tell us if you liked it!

Ja'ne!


	5. Extra Chapter: Outtakes

Welcome to the magic, extra-chapter known as the…………….OUTTAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me, as in Kage, and Chibi are writing this together, so credit goes to both! But mostly me, for coming up with the idea. Chibi throws a rock at Kage Kage catches it and throws it back Anyway, read, laugh, worship me, and review. Chibi is hit in the head. "Weeeheehee…"

…………………………………………………….THE SUPER-SECRET EXTRA OUTTAKE CHAPTER THAT ONLY YOU, THE READER GETS TO SEE!………………………………..(You may feel special now)

OUTTAKES: Scene one (Baka ningen-guy is yelling at Hiei) {By: KageYoukai}

"Hey mute guy! Take this!" The ningen took a small pebble and threw it at Hiei. (Everyone expects Hiei to catch it.)

****

WHAM!

"OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BITCH! YOU HIT MY FRIKKIN' EYE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hiei screamed, holding his forehead.

"But I- I didn't….YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO CATCH IT!" Ningen-Guy yelled back.

"CUT!" Director-Man yelled.

"NOBODY TOLD ME THIS STORY WOULD INVOLVE THINGS BEING THROWN AT ME!!!!!!!!!" Hiei yelled.

"IT. WAS. IN. THE. _SCRIPT!!!!!!!!!"_ Director-Man screamed.

"…Script??"

Scene Two (Koenma Appears. (In all his majesty.)) {By: Chibi Yoko}

WHOOM

"WHOOM? I ASKED FOR POOF! GOT IT!? POOF!" screamed Koenma.

Hiei sneaks off, leving the dead ningen on the ground.

"I'm sorry Lord Koenma." Said Director-Man. "We'll fix it now-"

"DING!"

"FIX IT?!"

"One sec…"

"BOOOOOOOOM!"

"I'M LEAVING!!!" Koenma storms off.

"FWUMP!"

"You sickos." Said the Dead Guy.

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!" The Director storms off after Koenma.

"POOF."

Deleted Scene: (Girls Prepare For Plan B) {By: Kage}

"Remind me again why we're saving them?" Botan asked.

"To prove we can," said Keiko, putting the millionth bottle of hair-gel in her hair, trying to look like Yusuke.

"Guys, my hair's still not sticking up," Yukina said.

"That's not in the script," Director said.

"But it's not."

"So? Improvise."

"What?"

"Improvise."

"I'm not sure I know what that means."

"God, how did FUNImation work with these people?"

Scene Um…What Number? (Yusuke, Yoko, and Kuwabara try to save Hiei) {By: Chibi}

Yoko is making the viscious man-eating plants devour the ogres.

"MUAHAHAHA!"

"YOKO!"

"MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"YOKO!"

"MUWAHAAHHAHA!"

"YOOOOKOO!!!"

"MUWAHA-um…what's my line?"

"CUT!" yelled Director. "DID _ANYBODY_ READ THE DAMNED SCRIPT?!"

"Well, I planned on doing it, but then…I was sooooo hungry, you see…and well. I…ate it."

"Yeah, so did I." Admitted Yusuke.

"YOU PEOPLE ARE _IMPOSSIBLE!_"

"Why didn't anyone tell me there was a script?!" asked Hiei.

Scene Something-Or-Other. (Enter…Joe the Magical Talking Something) {By Kage}

Yoko paces around the cell, lugging a large black case. Yusuke looks over curiously, while Hiei is asleep.

"Yoko, what the hell is that?" Yusuke finally asked.

"It's Joe, the Magical Talking Saxophone!" Yoko replied cheerfully.

"It's suppose to be a _harmonica!" _Director wailed. "AND HIEI IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE SLEEPING!!!!!"

"Ooh, but a saxophone's so much more useful!" Yoko protested. "Watch, learn, and cover your ears." Yoko put together 'Joe' the saxophone and blew as hard as he could, waking up Hiei.

"AH! WHERE AM I!?" Hiei yelled, falling off the cell bed.

"Hiei seems to have a weakness for loud noises being made while he's asleep," Yoko commented. The director was on the ground, twitching slightly, and muttering something about torture.

Scene 42…or something like that… (The girls are "storming" Reikai when they confront Koenma.) {By: Chibi}

Yukina runs out into the open. "HEY LOOKIT ME, I'M HIEI!!!!"

"HIEI! OHMIGOD, WHY DIDN'T THE STUPID OGRES STOP HIM!??"

"CUT!" screamed Director. "IT'S NOT HIEI YOU DIM-WITTED PILE OF 800-YEAR OLD ROTTING CRAP!!"

"I'm 750, thank you very much." Sniffed Koenma.

"WELL I'M SORRY I OFFENDED YOU, _PRINCESS_!"

"PRINCESS! I'LL SHOW YOU PRINCESS!"

"BRING IT PACIFIER JUNKIE!"

"FREEZE!" Yelled Yukina. "Now, violence is not the answer to any of our problems, is it? Who wants a story? -"

Yoko appears. "Ooh! Me!"

"Now, once upon a time there was…"

Shizuru appears, on cue and kicks the frozen Koenma where it hurts…or at least…tries to.

"OWWW!!" Yells Director.

Scene Eggs (Girls are running for there lives while Hiei makes his escape) {By: Kage}

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Botan screamed, running away from Koenma. Yukina is running too, but Hiei trips her on purpose.

"OW! MEANIE!" Yukina yelled, teary eyed.

"HA!" Hiei laughed triumphantly.

"CUUUUUUUUUUUUT! HIEI! HAVE YOU GONE MAD! THAT'S YUKINA!" Guess who said that.

"You said to improvise. I was going for the whole sibling rivalry-thing," Hiei said.

"Sibling?" Yukina asked. "That means……….."

"SIBLING RIVALRY!? _SIBLING RIVALRY!? _YOU'RE HIEI! YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO LOVE YUKINA WITH ALL YOUR BROTHERLY HEART!" Director screamed.

"But the creators of YYH didn't give me a heart." Hiei said. "And doesn't loving someone make me OOC?"

"NO! HURTING YOUR SISTER DOES!"

"OMIGOD!!!!!!!!" Kuwabaka screamed. "HIEI IS YUKINA'S SISTER!"

"WHAT! I AM NO ONE'S SISTER!" Hiei screamed.

"Kuwabara isn't even in the scene!" Botan noted. "Director, should we turn the camera off?"

"Director is having a seizure, Botan." Koenma said. "Just leave him be and he'll be fine."

Director is rolling around on the ground making gagging sounds.

Scene Seven Hundred-Forty Seven…I think…wait…no…NEVERMIND! SCENE NUMBERS ARE FOR SQUARES!! (Saito comes!) {By: Chibi}

Saito is carried into the jail cell.

"Hey, who the heck are you?" asked Yusuke.

"zzzzzzzz…" replied Saito.

"CUT!" yelled Director. "God Lars, why'd you knock her out?"

"She kicked and struggled so much I had to." Said the prison guard, a.k.a. Lars.

"GOD ARE ALL OF MY EMPLOYEES ASSHOLES?!"

"Yo!" yelled all of the people.

"What is this Spaceballs?"

"No sir, this is Damsels in Distress." Said Lars.

"IDIDN'TDOIT!" yelled Saito as she woke up.

"Of course you didn't." Said Yoko.

"Neither did I." Said Hiei.

"I'm sure." Said Yusuke.

"YOU BOTH DID IT!" yelled Director. "BECAUSE THE SCRIPT SAYS SO!"

Hiei looked confused. "Script…?"

"Kill me now." Prayed Director.

Scene JUST SCREW IT! (Yusuke throws the rock) {By: Kage}

Yusuke picks up a rock that is conveniently lying on the ground by his feet and throws it at Hiei. (Once, again, everyone expects him to catch it.)

__

SHWAM!

"WILL PEOPLE STOP THROWING GODDAMNED ROCKS AT ME!!!!!!!!!!" Hiei shouted so loud that he made a mockery of Joe the Saxophone.

"You…Are…Suppose…To….**_CATCH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" _**Director screamed so loud he made a mockery of Hiei.

"Really?"

"YES!"

"Are you sure?"

"YES!"

"Than what?"

"THROW IT BACK!"

"Kay." Hiei picks up the rock and throws it at director.

"HIEI YOU KILLED DIRECTOR!" Yusuke yelled.

"NOW YOU REALLY HAVE TO GO TO PRISON!" Koenma yelled.

"Uh….HE TOLD ME TO!" Hiei argued.

"HE TOLD YOU TO THROW IT AT YUSUKE!"

"Uh…O-kay…." Hiei picked up another rock and threw it at Yusuke.

"OMIGOD YOU KILLED YUSUKE!!!!!"

Scene Numbers-Are-Still-For-Squares (The scenes where Kuwabara is wandering aimlessly.) {By: Chibi}

"Dum Dum Dee Dee DUMMMM!" Howled Kuwabaka. "I LIIIIKE EEEEGGS!! THEEEEEY taste GOOOOOOOOOOD!"

"STOP THAT INFERNAL WAILING YOU MENTALLY RETARDED BITCH!" screamed the Wall. "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!!"

"Huh?" asked Kuwabaka stupidly."

"CUT!" Director yelled. "I TOLD you guys not to order the talking walls for the sets!! They were $250 extra for Christ's sake! Goddamnit! You all need to buy a brain!"

"Are you suggesting I wasn't worth 250 extra dollars?" sniffed the wall. "I'm offended."

"SHUT UP YOU ANNOYING PIECE OF PLYWOOD!"

"I'm made of oak, thank you very much!"

"Heh heh." Said Kuwabaka.

Director looked over. "Why in the name of all things good and right are you playing with your _toes?"_

"Dis widdle piggy went to mawket…"

"AHHHHHHH!" Director bangs his head repeatedly into wall.

"OW. OW. OW." Said the Wall.

"Poor wall." Said the anonymous cameraman.

Scene Who Gives A Damn. (Yusuke and Joe sing a song.) {By: Kage}

"Sittin' in prison."

"Na na na na!"

"Alone in a cell."

"Na- WAIT! I KNOW A BETTER SONG!" Joe exclaimed.

"Really? Do tell." Yusuke said.

"Okay, here goes-" Joe took a deep breath and- "Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger BADGER badger badger badger MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! Mm Badger badger badger…" Joe goes on and on.

Hiei is trying to block out the sound until…..

"YUSUKE GIVE ME THAT HARMONICA FROM HELL AND LET ME BUUUUUUUUUUUURN IT!" Hiei was reaching through the bars, trying to grab Joe.

"HEY! LEGGO MY EGGO!" Yusuke yelled, holding Joe for dear life.

"Ain't it amazing how any sentence can be turned into something wrong these days?" Yoko noted.

"GASP! YOU PERVERTED FOX! IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO MAKE THOSE SENTENCES WRONG!" Yusuke yelled.

"MUST! BUUUUUUUUUUUUURN!" Hiei said, catching Joe on fire. (it's the first thing he's been able to catch all day.)

The Director is to shocked and dumbstruck to say anything.

Scene Who cares? We're all going to die anyway….. (When the three guys are coming down the hallways.) {By: Chibi}

Yusuke heads down his corridor, leaving the others to try and remember which one is which…

"I think I'm supposed to go down that one." Said Yoko.

"Didn't you read the script?" asked Kuwabara.

"Nope. I ate it."

"Darn, cuz' I can't read."

"YOU CAN'T READ!?" yelled the Director. "Please, Togashi, tell me why you cursed me with complete IDIOTS?!"

A giant hand comes down and erases the Director. "I'll show you idiots…" mumbled a voice from above. "

"Er… That didn't happen." Said Yoko.

"Yeah, right." Said Kuwabara. They both head down the wrong corridors.

………………………………

Well…Erm…We hope you laughed and enjoyed that….performance. We also hope it sca- I mean DIDN'T scar you for life. Yeah………….Review please, and remember, this really happened.


End file.
